A Few Words Archives - Half Formed Thoughts 8/7/02

Save The Whales!

Last week in Massachusetts, more than fifty whales beached themselves. Teams of frantic rescuers did all that they could to get them back into the sea, and managed to save most of their lives. It was the feel-good story of the summer, and it served as a nice distraction from all of the horrible stories that have recently dominated the headlines. The very next day, the same whales beached themselves again, and they all had to be euthanized. There’s gratitude for you.

Thinking about those whales reminded me of an old ex-girlfriend. No, not for that reason. The end of that relationship wasn’t a complete surprise to me, as I was pretty sure that she had already started dating someone else. She didn’t confirm that suspicion, but as she was dumping me she told me something which completely baffled me at the time. She told me that I was a terrific guy and she was fairly certain that being with me was something good in her life and that breaking up with me was a mistake which she would probably regret later. She broke up with me anyway.

She was completely correct on all accounts, by the way.

I spent a great deal of time thinking about that breakup. It’s not that I was devastated by the loss, but I couldn’t understand why someone could consciously make a decision which she knew was wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, but they usually seem like good ideas at the time. Or, we might know that a choice is wrong, but we’re rolling the dice on the fact that we’ll get away with it this time.

One word comes to mind: weakness. Doing the right thing involves more than just knowing what the right thing is. Often times the right thing to do is orders of magnitude more difficult than choosing the easy way out.

I submit that it might actually require a great deal of courage to admit one’s weakness. After all, aren’t we all weak in our own ways? Don’t we all have our tragic flaws? Perhaps it’s better to admit our brokenness, and live with it than live in denial of it and continue to try in vain to overcome our demons.

Yes, perhaps endurance can sometimes be a flaw. Perhaps sometimes resistance is futile. Life is neither fair nor just, and some people are thrown far more than their share of obstacles. The optimists among you would say that every person can find the strength to overcome, either from their indomitable spirit or from whatever higher power they call upon for help.

It would be nice if it were so, but in reality everyone is not able to turn their lives around. Some people self-destruct. Some people burn out. And some people, no matter how much they try and how much support and love they are given by others, commit suicide, just as those whales did. Some people kill themselves with a gun or a rope, others with a bottle or a needle.

I’m certainly not advocating suicide or self-destructive behavior. I’m also not saying that just because the choice to go on living isn’t easy we shouldn’t try. But, perhaps, when a person finds himself in a no-win situation and the problems he has created for himself become insurmountable, then what appears to be an obviously wrong action might be the last sane choice available. In big ways and in small ways, maybe that’s why we choose what we know is wrong for us.

I don’t know. And I hope I never have to find out.

Email Steve with any comments at aenor@aurora.mv.com